Holiday Stress Explained: Why Is It So Difficult Being Around Our Loved Ones?
Updated: Dec 15, 2020
Dr. Tovah and Rose will meet with you in a TMS RoundTable talk session (on ZOOM - more details below) where we can discuss the reasons for the flares that happen when loved ones get together and 'old hurts' haunt the present moment. For now, please see if the following resonates with you. Happy holidays!
Is this true for you?
Do you think that that there could be a connection to your back pain, hip pain, etc? Could the desire to run from the feeling of being overwhelmed by responsibility be connected to chronic pain? You are standing in the kitchen with your mother and you notice the pain going down your legs.
That stomach ache, nausea, IBS, are these symptoms related to your hidden feelings of not wanting to be overwhelmed and holding back your hidden feelings? So you have diarrhea, constipation, hemorrhoids are you seeing the psychosomatic connection between your symptoms and your pain/discomfort?
Will that headache go away before it turns into a migraine. "Do I really need to hear my father tell me again how the present generation is so disrespectful"
Do you think if you noticed that your anxiety/stress could be coming from the conflict that although I want to be with my 'tribe' over the holidays that I can't stand Uncle Tommy's proclamations about politics? It's getting under my skin it makes me feel like I need to defend my position; I feel the butterflies in my gut.
Mother will fuss over the oven instead of relaxing and enjoying our company. Then she is on about no one helping her. It's always the same in my home. The family will wince about Fred's dog barking. Same old complaints, instead of finding out what's wrong over there, the family will whinge about it. It really gets my goat, and now I can feel a headache coming on. I would really love to tell them to 'get a life' but instead I get a headache.
I have a great desire to argue with my father, I have no idea why being at home with him starts me off in an argumentative mood. What am I defending against? He is pleased to see my family but I get a grudging feeling towards him.
My sister who only shows up when there is something going for her, and then justifies why she is never available, then I feel it is my responsibility to make everyone happy; like I have a great burden on my shoulders.
Do any of these 'self-talks' resonate with you?
So how can I detach from difficult people, or from me being a difficult person; without needing to justify, argue, defend my position or explain?
The mind and the body are intimately connected. Check the research here for evidence backing TMS (tension myoneural/myositis syndrome).
Dr. Tovah and Rose will meet with you in a TMS RoundTable talk where we can discuss the reasons for the flares that happen when loved ones get together and 'old hurts' haunt the present moment.
Meet us Sunday, Dec 20 in our ZOOM room. USA, 3 PM (EST) UK 8 PM (BST) Europe 9 PM, Isreal 10 PM.
Tuesday Australia NZ, 7 AM AEDT - http://bit.ly/3nlorYf.